Day 9 – Old fashioned lover boys

Following with Blogging: Fundamentals. For day 9 they want me to check some comments I made on other blogs, choose one and write about the topic that inspired me.

Lucindafer’s post about how she felt about men honking fired up a little flame I have about sexism in the last years. Is about defining the line between flattering and harassment.

I think sexism and woman urban harassment is a topic that got prominence five years ago in my country (Chile). Women felt objectified by those who complimented them on the streets with a sexual objective, the problem for me was that I sometimes try to compliment beauty (not only sexually) for other purposes. So I stopped.

Now, should I? Evidence tells me I should. It was only a couple experiences (and the media controversies) that absolutely shut down my will to get a smile of all this beautiful women. Because, that is what I was looking for, not even to chat with them but I have a firm conviction that women who smiles are way prettier. That’s the reason I don’t like fashion runways, models there are missing some smiles.

One of them was probably about a year ago, maybe less. It was late at night and I was going my way home on a public bus. About four blocks before I reach my final destination a red-haired girl sits in front of me. As she walked in I could see most of her. I loved the dark jeans combined with red Converse and a greyish strapless crop top, also her face was beautiful (she was hot af btw). Big green-eyes behind some hipster glasses were the icing on the cake. All I could see of her after she sat down was her shoulders back, but it wasn’t bad: she revealed a sexy 10cm (4 inches) watercolor rose tattoo. Only two blocks left and I had to tell her that I was amazed, so I did.

“Excuse me I think your tattoo is sexy, love the watercolor” was my precise selection of words and she clearly overreacted “WHAT THE FUCK!? HAVE YOU BEEN WATCHING ME THIS WHOLE TIME!? FUCK OFF!” she answered. She wasn’t wrong anyway; I had been watching her the whole three minutes she has been on the bus. It was a soft compliment of something she must love to have, otherwise, why do you even have a tattoo?

The second one happened this year (2017) on the subway. After work I was going back home, the place was crowded between stations Baquedano and Tobalaba as usual. I got in the subway in Baquedano station and next to me there was a blond girl wearing some blue office skirt with a white blouse. Again, glasses made this girl shine even more. She was putting her make up as the subway was arriving Alcantara station and I really felt like telling her “Hey, you don’t need any make up to look gorgeous” and I did. The reaction was the worst; she just left the train after giving me that repugnance look like I was trying to seduce her. We met at the same station in the end, Hernando de Magallanes, but this time the look on my face was of shame. But why?

Maybe it was a bad selection of words or they felt something else. Maybe I’m ugly as fuck, but then we – the good ugly ones – are the ones getting the worst part of sexism and the rise of women self-defense. I only wanted them to smile and feel a little bit better with themselves. That last girl seemed worry about her own face; I just wanted her to relax about it she was (and probably still is) dazzling. There’s no need for stress when you feel good with yourself.

In defense of men, we are sorry, but you should give old-fashioned-lover boys a chance again and smile back.

Freaek ¯\_(ツ)_/¯



2 thoughts on “Day 9 – Old fashioned lover boys

  1. Ah! Freaek! The world we live in. I hear your pain and there are probably thousands of different answers and emotions you will spur. As a woman, I will try to explain one point of view. Women must be very careful of the response they give men, least it is seen as encouragement. We do not want to be followed or worse. If we are alone on a train or a street, we want to feel safe. You must save your compliments for women who know you and trust you or your motives. All people look best when they smile, so smile at everyone. They may still smile back.

    Liked by 1 person

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